aka Blind Leading the Blind
Firstly, this note is a free bullet. It might hit someone, or it might miss all of its supposed targets and land on some dank part of your subconscious right after you read it. Haha. Well, some of you may know the reason behind why this note came up, but still. Here goes (nothing). =))
GUIDES ON KEEPING A RELATIONSHIP
1. BALANCE.Yeah, as if it's something that easy. Well you see, this is where everything revolves. Keeping the balance. A relationship is not a one-way street. It is a bilateral agreement, a treaty, a deal. It involves two people and thus, the responsibility should be shared by the two also. A healthy relationship is a relationship wherein there is no DOMINANT party. Nobody does all the decision or nobody just follows and keeps her/his head down low. Sure, someone may always say YES to you because s/he wants to keep the relationship stable BUT you should be constantly reminded that the other person knows a lot more words than "YES". Balance is impalpable, so how do you quantify it? How do you know you're not on the teetering off the edge? One word: COMMUNICATION.
2. COMMUNICATION. Communication is not measured by ten thousand texts of "I love you", "Did you eat?", "Take Care", and "dear/honey/bb, I miss you". Yes, those above mentioned may consist the first part but communication is more of the "sorry", "I did something not good", and "something happened and I think we should talk about it". Communication is JUST A TOOL for keeping the balance. Your relationship should not be all about it. Communication need not happen EVERYDAY. Because when it does, there's a tendency for it to become a BURDEN. Use it when you need it. It's a double-edged sword so choose your words. People have the tendency to say something directly opposite what they intend to. To keep it short, refrain from speaking out when you're too emotional. Emotions tend to cloud logic.
3. Do not PUSH the limits of anyone or anybody may it be for the sake of CHALLENGING THEM or for FUN. Because pushing is never really fun especially when you're the one getting pushed. We want to see our love ones overcome their little insecurities and transcend their limitations, but we should never be the reason for them to do so. By being that way, we take away the freedom of letting them achieve something for their own self-growth. Instead of making them a better person because they want to, they end up accepting the challenge because they want to PLEASE us.
4. Learn the difference between ZEALOUS and JEALOUS. Apart from the blatant first letter difference, there are a lot of difference between these two words. Proclaiming love to a person can be done in a million ways and if one of your tactics to prove your love is being super watchful over who's talking to who and what's who doing with who, you're skating on thin ice. There are varied level of cheesiness each person can take. If you can't be too cheesy, don't make up to it by being jealous. Instead of making the other person feel loved by showing him/her your possessive tendencies, s/he might feel that you do not have trust for her/him.
5. REASON. Find the reason why you're in the relationship. Assess whether the said reason is self-supporting or not. Reasons like "I can't live without the other person", "the other person makes me feel special", "the other person made me see life in a whole new angle" should not be the reasons why you're in that relationship. In my opinion, reasons should not even include the phrase "the other person". Relationships should work REGARDLESS of the people in it. If you peg all your reasons on a said person, the said reasons will not last long. One can never like someone too much, ALL THE TIME. :)
Relationship need not be hard work. Like, hello, how can something be that hard when your primary premise is something as wonderful as love? Right? Right. Relationship only gets complicated when you put other things like EXPECTATIONS and PRIDE. Contrary to my eighteen-year old self's theory of relationships-need-logic-to-begin-with, relationships can flourish even with the unbelievably shallow reason of "love at first sight". When you fall in love, you let your emotions wander free. And when you decide something important as going into relationships with your feelings running wild, never attempt to make sense out of it by inserting logic along the way. That would mess things up. It's like drunk driver steering the wheel of a steam-roller for five hours and then there's this sober person trying to get to the wheel just because the "driver is drunk and he might kill us if he commits a mistake". If we continue with the story, both people will die. Not because of the drunkenness of the driver but because of the fight that may have ensued when the other person tried to "set things straight" when there's nothing really wrong in the first place. (okay, I don't know if I'm still making sense but hopefully, you got my point). To push forward my theory of being in love out of pure emotional stupor, let's put in the theory of fairy tales. Do you know why love at first sight and happy ever afters happen in fairy tales? Notice how they do not really talk about issues of poverty, corruption, global warming, or anything needing brain cell work in the stories? That's because the characters do not have a brain. HAHAHA. But really, they do have one but they seldom put it to use. I mean, hello, a logical person should never fall in love at first sight! But fairy tale characters do. And they even live happily ever after?! That's because they haven't woken up from their "magical dream" yet. Had they woken up one morning and went "WTF, who are you!? Why am I not in my cottage and where are my talking chipmunks for friends?!", it would end in one sparkling divorce. So see, whatever you started, FINISH IT. Just the way you started it. (I'm still not sure if you get this part, haha, pm me if you have questions. HAHA)
and then here's the GUIDE ON MOVING ON. LOL
1. YOU CAN NEVER STOP THE TEARS FROM FLOWING. WHY? Because of gravity. Duh. Haha, I kid. Tears are good things. They are the body's natural lubricants to clean the eyes. And though some scientists disagree on the fact that only human beings cry as a response for something emotionally-triggered, it is universally accepted that tears clean the soul too. Cry when you feel the need to. But don't overuse your ability to cry. When you cry, cry your heart out. But when you're done, DON'T LOOK FOR MORE REASONS TO CONTINUE CRYING. If you do, you'll end up being bitter and angry at yourself.
2. IMMERSE WITH THE FEELING AND LET GO. This is easy to say but trust me, it gets easier when you try it. haha! When you feel that you have gazillion reasons to cry about, LIST THEM. And then go through the list and CRY ABOUT IT. Like when one of the reason says "Reason # 421. I MISS HIM TEXTING ME GOOD MORNING", go cry for that. Never mind if it takes you ten hours or what, just let the tears flow. But when you're done, cross out that number and DON'T CRY ABOUT IT AGAIN. Go listen to all sappy love songs and feel the words hit you. Scan your ipod/player and create a playlist for all of the songs that you think fit you at the moment. Listen to all of these and when the last of the track on the list ends, you should be smiling already.
3. TAKE YOUR TIME. Everything takes time. Don't push yourself to heal too soon. Mend yourself slowly AND surely. Don't rush things. It's okay to be not-okay.
4. FIND A DISTRACTION. This is not the ultimate answer but this is a way to keep you busy. Because no matter how hard you try to deny it, you will always come at a point wherein you'll wallow in your misery just because you have nothing else to do. It's a normal emotional response for your pain so as much as possible, divert your attention to positive things. Learn a new hobby or practice a hobby you have long forgotten. Try to see the brighter side of things and start within yourself. Love yourself. NEVER EVER BLAME YOURSELF. If there is someone who deserves all of the respect in the world, it is yourself. You can lose your trust to the whole universe but you should never lose your trust to yourself. LOVE YOURSELF. You need YOU more than anyone at this point. LOVE YOURSELF.
5. BE HAPPY. Why do we want to reach our dreams? Why do we want to be successful? Why do we laugh? Why do we love? Because we want to be happy. Happiness is the ultimate goal of everyone in the world. Happiness is a complicated word because we try hard to achieve it even if we consistently experience it along the way. Happiness is everywhere. It can be the other person, a hobby, a dream, etc. But one thing you must remember, NOBODY can make you happy but yourself. Think of your happiness because YOU DESERVE IT.
Moving on is not an easy thing to do. It doesn't happen in an instant. Take all the time in the world to move on and don't hold on to something that refuses to hold back at you. Remember, this is all about YOU and how you make it through by yourself. The beauty of the blooming flower, the warmth of the morning sun, the comforting words of a friend would mean nothing unless you help yourself.
BE HAPPY. STAY HAPPY.
There's more to life than the solar system, the half-eaten burger, poverty-stricken third world countries, graft and corruption in Macedonia, used tissues on a wastebasket, the internet, and the whatever thoughts I've written without thinking in this note. I paid an extra fifteen pesos just to write this and I hope you got my message.
Love is supposed to make us happy. If it doesn't, it's not love. :)
Firstly, this note is a free bullet. It might hit someone, or it might miss all of its supposed targets and land on some dank part of your subconscious right after you read it. Haha. Well, some of you may know the reason behind why this note came up, but still. Here goes (nothing). =))
GUIDES ON KEEPING A RELATIONSHIP
1. BALANCE.Yeah, as if it's something that easy. Well you see, this is where everything revolves. Keeping the balance. A relationship is not a one-way street. It is a bilateral agreement, a treaty, a deal. It involves two people and thus, the responsibility should be shared by the two also. A healthy relationship is a relationship wherein there is no DOMINANT party. Nobody does all the decision or nobody just follows and keeps her/his head down low. Sure, someone may always say YES to you because s/he wants to keep the relationship stable BUT you should be constantly reminded that the other person knows a lot more words than "YES". Balance is impalpable, so how do you quantify it? How do you know you're not on the teetering off the edge? One word: COMMUNICATION.
2. COMMUNICATION. Communication is not measured by ten thousand texts of "I love you", "Did you eat?", "Take Care", and "dear/honey/bb, I miss you". Yes, those above mentioned may consist the first part but communication is more of the "sorry", "I did something not good", and "something happened and I think we should talk about it". Communication is JUST A TOOL for keeping the balance. Your relationship should not be all about it. Communication need not happen EVERYDAY. Because when it does, there's a tendency for it to become a BURDEN. Use it when you need it. It's a double-edged sword so choose your words. People have the tendency to say something directly opposite what they intend to. To keep it short, refrain from speaking out when you're too emotional. Emotions tend to cloud logic.
3. Do not PUSH the limits of anyone or anybody may it be for the sake of CHALLENGING THEM or for FUN. Because pushing is never really fun especially when you're the one getting pushed. We want to see our love ones overcome their little insecurities and transcend their limitations, but we should never be the reason for them to do so. By being that way, we take away the freedom of letting them achieve something for their own self-growth. Instead of making them a better person because they want to, they end up accepting the challenge because they want to PLEASE us.
4. Learn the difference between ZEALOUS and JEALOUS. Apart from the blatant first letter difference, there are a lot of difference between these two words. Proclaiming love to a person can be done in a million ways and if one of your tactics to prove your love is being super watchful over who's talking to who and what's who doing with who, you're skating on thin ice. There are varied level of cheesiness each person can take. If you can't be too cheesy, don't make up to it by being jealous. Instead of making the other person feel loved by showing him/her your possessive tendencies, s/he might feel that you do not have trust for her/him.
5. REASON. Find the reason why you're in the relationship. Assess whether the said reason is self-supporting or not. Reasons like "I can't live without the other person", "the other person makes me feel special", "the other person made me see life in a whole new angle" should not be the reasons why you're in that relationship. In my opinion, reasons should not even include the phrase "the other person". Relationships should work REGARDLESS of the people in it. If you peg all your reasons on a said person, the said reasons will not last long. One can never like someone too much, ALL THE TIME. :)
Relationship need not be hard work. Like, hello, how can something be that hard when your primary premise is something as wonderful as love? Right? Right. Relationship only gets complicated when you put other things like EXPECTATIONS and PRIDE. Contrary to my eighteen-year old self's theory of relationships-need-logic-to-begin-with, relationships can flourish even with the unbelievably shallow reason of "love at first sight". When you fall in love, you let your emotions wander free. And when you decide something important as going into relationships with your feelings running wild, never attempt to make sense out of it by inserting logic along the way. That would mess things up. It's like drunk driver steering the wheel of a steam-roller for five hours and then there's this sober person trying to get to the wheel just because the "driver is drunk and he might kill us if he commits a mistake". If we continue with the story, both people will die. Not because of the drunkenness of the driver but because of the fight that may have ensued when the other person tried to "set things straight" when there's nothing really wrong in the first place. (okay, I don't know if I'm still making sense but hopefully, you got my point). To push forward my theory of being in love out of pure emotional stupor, let's put in the theory of fairy tales. Do you know why love at first sight and happy ever afters happen in fairy tales? Notice how they do not really talk about issues of poverty, corruption, global warming, or anything needing brain cell work in the stories? That's because the characters do not have a brain. HAHAHA. But really, they do have one but they seldom put it to use. I mean, hello, a logical person should never fall in love at first sight! But fairy tale characters do. And they even live happily ever after?! That's because they haven't woken up from their "magical dream" yet. Had they woken up one morning and went "WTF, who are you!? Why am I not in my cottage and where are my talking chipmunks for friends?!", it would end in one sparkling divorce. So see, whatever you started, FINISH IT. Just the way you started it. (I'm still not sure if you get this part, haha, pm me if you have questions. HAHA)
and then here's the GUIDE ON MOVING ON. LOL
1. YOU CAN NEVER STOP THE TEARS FROM FLOWING. WHY? Because of gravity. Duh. Haha, I kid. Tears are good things. They are the body's natural lubricants to clean the eyes. And though some scientists disagree on the fact that only human beings cry as a response for something emotionally-triggered, it is universally accepted that tears clean the soul too. Cry when you feel the need to. But don't overuse your ability to cry. When you cry, cry your heart out. But when you're done, DON'T LOOK FOR MORE REASONS TO CONTINUE CRYING. If you do, you'll end up being bitter and angry at yourself.
2. IMMERSE WITH THE FEELING AND LET GO. This is easy to say but trust me, it gets easier when you try it. haha! When you feel that you have gazillion reasons to cry about, LIST THEM. And then go through the list and CRY ABOUT IT. Like when one of the reason says "Reason # 421. I MISS HIM TEXTING ME GOOD MORNING", go cry for that. Never mind if it takes you ten hours or what, just let the tears flow. But when you're done, cross out that number and DON'T CRY ABOUT IT AGAIN. Go listen to all sappy love songs and feel the words hit you. Scan your ipod/player and create a playlist for all of the songs that you think fit you at the moment. Listen to all of these and when the last of the track on the list ends, you should be smiling already.
3. TAKE YOUR TIME. Everything takes time. Don't push yourself to heal too soon. Mend yourself slowly AND surely. Don't rush things. It's okay to be not-okay.
4. FIND A DISTRACTION. This is not the ultimate answer but this is a way to keep you busy. Because no matter how hard you try to deny it, you will always come at a point wherein you'll wallow in your misery just because you have nothing else to do. It's a normal emotional response for your pain so as much as possible, divert your attention to positive things. Learn a new hobby or practice a hobby you have long forgotten. Try to see the brighter side of things and start within yourself. Love yourself. NEVER EVER BLAME YOURSELF. If there is someone who deserves all of the respect in the world, it is yourself. You can lose your trust to the whole universe but you should never lose your trust to yourself. LOVE YOURSELF. You need YOU more than anyone at this point. LOVE YOURSELF.
5. BE HAPPY. Why do we want to reach our dreams? Why do we want to be successful? Why do we laugh? Why do we love? Because we want to be happy. Happiness is the ultimate goal of everyone in the world. Happiness is a complicated word because we try hard to achieve it even if we consistently experience it along the way. Happiness is everywhere. It can be the other person, a hobby, a dream, etc. But one thing you must remember, NOBODY can make you happy but yourself. Think of your happiness because YOU DESERVE IT.
Moving on is not an easy thing to do. It doesn't happen in an instant. Take all the time in the world to move on and don't hold on to something that refuses to hold back at you. Remember, this is all about YOU and how you make it through by yourself. The beauty of the blooming flower, the warmth of the morning sun, the comforting words of a friend would mean nothing unless you help yourself.
BE HAPPY. STAY HAPPY.
There's more to life than the solar system, the half-eaten burger, poverty-stricken third world countries, graft and corruption in Macedonia, used tissues on a wastebasket, the internet, and the whatever thoughts I've written without thinking in this note. I paid an extra fifteen pesos just to write this and I hope you got my message.
Love is supposed to make us happy. If it doesn't, it's not love. :)
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